The million dollar question

I'm done with grad school. I don't have my diploma yet, but I've already received my first student loan bill. Sallie Mae really doesn't waste any time. Par for the course, many people have inquired about my post-graduation plans. Ah yes, the million dollar question: So what are you going to do now that you're done with grad school?

Most people actually expect a short answer, but I don't really have a short answer. In the broadest of terms, I'd love to earn a paycheck. More specifically, I'd love a job using the skills I've been trained to do. Even more specifically, I want a job that doesn't really exist so I'm actually working on making that happen.

First things first, I need to become licensed. The timeline for the licensure process is as follows: Wait 4-6 weeks for my university to finalize my diploma. Once I have documentation of completed degree, I register to take the National Counselor's Exam (NCE), which is scheduled four weeks later. While I will know whether I pass or fail at the time of the exam, it will take 4-6 weeks to receive my official scores in which I can submit to the state for licensure. And quite honestly, I have no idea what the process is like for the state to approve the application. Basically, I have right around 12 weeks until I'm employable in a counselor/therapist role.

For now, I just plan to spend a lot of quality time with this study manual and it's companion audiobook set. So far, I've made it through 2 of the twenty CDs. 

As for finding my perfect job, well, it doesn't exist... yet! But, I'm working on it and I'm hopeful. My education, experience, and passion have me looking for ways to serve the mental health needs of our veterans in a civilian, community-based setting. I am hoping to work along side some of the established organizations in our area (and/or bringing successful organizations from other cities here into Kansas City) to provide psychological no-cost services to veterans. This would involve seeking funding from local businesses and individuals, reaching out into the military and veteran population, providing psycho-educational tools, and reducing the stigma of mental health issues. Once I'm licensed, my hope is to provide therapeutic services in a practice geared to serving veterans and their families.

So, this about sums up my post-graduation plans. Granted, I could go on and on (I wrote an entire 16 page paper and prepared a 90 minute presentation of the civilian role in military/veteran mental health needs, so I really could go on  and on...), but most people seem to check out at about this point in time, so I'll finish it up here. Though, if you do have comments or questions, let me know! And if you have tons of money just waiting to pour into past and present service members-- let me know. I'll put it to good use!

My Internship

A couple of weeks ago, I introduced my degree program. Today, I'll talk a little about my internship. Similarly to most programs, the internship is one of the last courses completed and is an opportunity to implement, practice, and enhance the skills learned in the classroom. Though in order for our degree program to prepare individuals for licensure, the internship requirements are different for each state. The internship requirements at Avila require 750 hours (half must be direct client contact) over a period of at least two semesters in which the instructor for the classroom portion must be different.

I have acquired quite the knowledge of the 12 steps during my internship! 

As for the classroom portion of internship, we meet for class weekly. We prepare case reports and share with the class, seek advice or suggestions about things going on at the internship sites, along with some coursework, too. This is the "capstone" course in which we will complete what is essentially a thesis during the final semester of internship. I am working on this now and it is by far the most lengthy, in-depth, and time-consuming paper I have ever written.

Lastly, my internship requirements also include weekly supervision at my internship site. My supervisor  reads over and signs off on all of my paperwork including my diagnoses, progress notes, and reports. We talk about each of the clients on my caseload and offers guidance and direction.

Students seek out their own internship sites. My classmates work in a variety of areas including the university counseling center, women's shelters, inner city mental health clinics, and inpatient children psych facilities. When I first began looking for internship sites, I was looking for a place to work with veterans and military personnel. It turns out, there isn't such site.

Side note: The VA didn't even recognize Licensed Professional Counselors as qualified personnel to work in the mental health services they offer until this past year. As it stands now, LPCs are eligible, however, openings for fully licensed LPCs are limited. Students are ineligible to serve as interns unless they are members of a specially accredited university, in which, only one school in Kansas City is such. 

Another side note: My degree program does not prepare students as school counselors. People always ask if I will do school counseling, but the truth is... I can't, at least not in the public schools. Basically, it all boils down to state regulations and requirements. Some schools may offer this option as part of a counseling psychology degree, but they are generally two separate degrees (at least in MO and KS). 

So, after coming to terms with my inability to serve the population in which I desired, I began to search out a site that claimed to have any veteran population whatsoever. I found a single site in all of the KC Metro that is all but officially a veteran facility-- a transitional living substance abuse treatment facility for homeless men. I work with veterans on a daily basis. In fact, almost 75% of our facility are veterans (ranging from the Korean war to OIF/OEF) and there have even been a few currently active duty military personnel while I have been there.

source

Despite the unfortunate reality of the alarmingly high rates of homeless veterans (and homeless individuals of any status, for that matter), I absolutely love my internship. I work 25 hours a week and at least 12.5 of those hours are required to be direct client contact, such as an individual session and/or group therapy (I love group therapy!! Actually, I love working one-on-one, too. I just love it all!... except the paperwork...).

At our facility, the clients work with their Substance Abuse counselors to create a treatment plan for their substance addiction (including plans for recovery, housing, employment, etc). Furthermore, all clients are required to participate in a mental health assessment. Clients may then chose to continue to participate in individual counseling sessions. The latter two fall into my job responsibilities-- to make an official diagnosis for each client along with a psychotherapy treatment plan if they so choose.

Often times an individual who presents with a drug or alcohol addiction has underlying issues that have contributed to the addiction in the first place (and many times, the drugs or alcohol use began as a means to self-medicate). It's my job to work through the underlying issues, such as depression, trauma, and/or anxiety. I have worked bipolar and schizophrenic individuals, too, though I work in conjunction with the staff psychiatrist and clinical psychologies who administer medication prescriptions and testing, respectively.

I lead three groups each week- Relapse Prevention, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and a Veteran's Processing Group. My average caseload is approximately 5-6 returning clients and I average about one new intake each week. I was told that I'd need to acquire some "tough skin" to work in this population, yet, I don't feel as if I have had to all that much! I am well respected by the clients, as well by other staff. The men hold the door when I walk by and they take me seriously. In the very few times a client has displayed a perceived disrespect, the other clients are quick to defend me-- even if it's unnecessary! I wish I could experience working where I do. I think it'd be such a great opportunity to realize that a majority of the homeless population don't fit the stereotype.

Internship is clearly a dedicated process, which will hopefully explain why my blogging has declined over the last several months. I started in January and will end at the end of July-- just seven weeks! This was a bit longer than I anticipated, but I wanted to cover the requirements, but also my experience of internship!

Three adventures, one wonderful weekend

This last weekend was absolutely wonderful! Our family was spread out across three different places, so there are three stories to tell!

I had a conference in Jefferson City and was going to travel alone, but when Jackson got invited to go on a trip, I asked my parents if Belle could stay with them, so Derek and I enjoyed a weekend getaway! The annual conference of the American Counseling Association of Missouri was this weekend and not only did I attend, I lead a presentation in one of the breakout sessions. What an experience! I was nervous and excited; I mean, I'm a grad student talking in front of seasoned professionals. I had so much fun and it went really well. And seriously, who knew I could talk for a solid 90 minutes?! (no comment Mom and Dad). It really helped that I feel passionately about my topic and am convinced that it's a message that needs to be heard. The topic: How military psychology relates to your civilian counseling career. Want to know more? Just ask. :)

After the conference, Derek and I had the laziest, most wonderful weekends. We ventured out to explore the beauty of Jefferson City and the Missouri Capitol Building, but we also took naps, watch several shows/movies in bed, and we event went shopping. Oh, it was delightful and much needed!

Jackson went on a much anticipated vacation with Grandma Linda, Grandpa Forrest, and cousin Gabe to Nebraska. They ventured to the Strategic Air & Space Museum and the Omaha Zoo among other parks and playthings. Jackson and Gabe love spending time together and when together, their energy multiplies by like, a zillion. :)

Though Jackson and Gabe never got the chance to meet Grandpa Clarence (he passed away just a few months after our wedding), it was special for Forrest to be able to teach the boys about the Strategic Air Command in wich Grandpa served. 

Jackson got to hold a butterfly!!! Can you believe he was still enough for this to even happen!?! He thought it was pretty cool.

... but not the coolest part of the zoo. That memory belongs to some sort of buffalo-thing that pooped while they passed by in the train. He was cracking up just telling me about it. Oh, boys.... 

And Belle, she stayed with my parents and she was SO thrilled when I told her she was going to Grammy and Papa's. She told Ms Beth, "I gonna go see Papa Johne!" And when she said his name, her voice jumped like three octaves. And in fact, when we met mom to pick her up on Sunday, after giving me a welcome hug, Belle leaned back over to Mom and asked to go back home with her. 

On Saturday, I received this text from Dad. He was trying to install cabinets and Belle wasn't being all that great of a helper. 

And this is a text from Mom later that afternoon. Belle was hanging out with Aunt Ashley and Molly chowing down on Cheez-its. Practically heaven on earth for both Ash and Belle. 

This truly was a great weekend. Everyone had lots of fun! And Sunday evening was just as great when we all came together and played! I love my little family and we are just so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful family too! 

(My wonderful weekend did not carry over into the beginning of the week. I got my wisdom tooth, my one and only, removed today and I've been miserable since about 10am! Plus, my face is swollen and I look ridiculous. Derek has taken excellent care of me and the kiddos. Seriously, I am so blessed!)

Clients. I have clients.

Clients. This semester, I have clients. Seven actually. Three sessions each. That's 21 hours of actual counseling hours this semester. This, my dear readers, is why I haven't been around much!

The clients are volunteers from the university, so I'm not dealing with any major psychotic diagnoses. However, combining the knowledge from all of my prior classes and mixing it with some skills I've picked up along the way-- it's still an abundant amount of work. Mostly emotionally and mentally, but it still leaves me exhausted. That, and I'm still a bit nervous that someone might end up with poorer mental health issues than when we first met.

But! I've survived the process and so far, so good. I've found confidence in many ways and am learning more than a textbooks could ever provide. It's beginning to settle in that I am actually capable (and almost qualified per state regulation) to diagnose and treat mental disorders. Of course, there's still a ways to go-- but I am almost there.

In fact, I've been scoping out internship sites and I even had an interview a few weeks ago. While my number one preference would be to work for an agency that provides counseling and support for veterans regarding reintegration, depression, PTSD, substance abuse, and the like... there isn't one in Kansas City {the VA does their counseling work through social workers, not counselors}. So, I considered the available options and have narrowed down my picks to a couple of homeless and substance abuse treatment facilities nearby. Turns out, over half of the clients in these facilities are actually veterans anyway.

But anyway, back to current events.

Having purpose outside of the home has been a major adjustment! It's not only the hours when I'm at school, but the constant role switching that goes on throughout the day. It's the back and forth that's hard. I'm getting the kids a snack and then I get a ding about a client session. I respond and then I'm back to snack time. Or I'm scheduling and planning sessions during nap time, but I still have to figure out what to cook for dinner. Whew! I have not found my groove yet. {And apparently, this makes me grumpy. Poor Derek.}


Thursdays are long days. I do mommy stuff all morning and then I head to school at 1:00. This week I have sessions from 2-4, class from 4-6:00 and then 6-9:00 and then another session after that! I eat dinner in class. Even though the day is long, it's still easier, in my opinion because I don't have to go back and forth.


The absolutely worse part of the this semester: Planning sessions around seven client schedules, our babysitter's schedule, and the schedule of rooms available to use on campus. It is nothing short of a nightmare. Thankfully, we have a babysitter that is super flexible and that our kids love. We just couldn't do it without her!

Each week is getting a little bit easier. It's really exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, in terms of grad school. It was starting to feel like class was etching itself permanently into my planner. I'm trying not to get too excited though because expected graduation isn't until May 2014-- which is still almost 18 months away. But progress is progress.

Lest these posts bore you to tears, never fear. Posts including photos of the kids will resume tomorrow (hopefully... if I'm really on top of things).

Why I go to Grad School

Last night I worked at the ranch. I filled in for a few minutes at the bar and as I watched the tip jar repeatedly fill up to the top I had the thought, "why am I going to all this hassle of grad school when I could make good money simply by bartending?" I joked backed and forth with a few of my friends via text message on the topic. And I decided that I just needed to quit the stress of school. I'd quit bringing home school work and start bringing home cash.

But today I stumbled across this article on the interwebs. I love finding articles about military psychology, but at the same time, the whole topic just eats at me. I can't shake it off. I've brought it up before; it's my passion. And in that lies my answer of why I am going to grad school in the first place: that one day I will be able to be a part in the solution to the crisis of mental health issues in the armed forces and their families. One day.

I really, really want y'all to read the article itself. As I was reading, I kept wondering if the author was reading my mind while writing. But for those who don't get the chance to read it {it's super easy, just click here!} I'll share some highlights.

A Veteran’s Death, the Nation’s Shame

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

Published: April 14, 2012

Stats: 

• For every soldier killed on the battlefield this year, about 25 veterans are dying by their own hands. 
• More than 6,500 veteran suicides are logged every year — more than the total number of soldiers killed in Afghanistan and Iraq combined since those wars began. {!!}

The issue:

• One reason for veteran suicides (and crimes, which get far more attention) may be post-traumatic stress disorder, along with a related condition, traumatic brain injury. 

• Preliminary figures suggest that being a veteran now roughly doubles one’s risk of suicide. 

• Presidents commit troops to distant battlefields, but don’t commit enough dollars to veterans’ services afterward. 

Regarding the VA {Veteran's Affairs}

• It is also chipping away at a warrior culture in which mental health concerns are considered sissy.

• The V.A.has improved but still doesn’t do nearly enough about the suicide problem.

The story incorporates the story of a Mom of a suicide-victim vet and another son dealing with major psychological distress from deployment.

• She sent two strong, healthy men to serve her country, and now her family has been hollowed in ways that aren’t as tidy, as honored, or as easy to explain as when the battle wounds are physical. 

• “When Ryan joined the Army, he was willing to sacrifice his life for his country,” she said. “And he did, just in a different way, without the glory." {amen}

My thoughts: 

• I agree with Corps Sgt. Maj. Bryan B. Battaglia: “Whether it be [a suicide] every 80 minutes or one every 80 weeks, one is obviously one too many.”
• This is further evidence that a battlefield exists right here at home for many soldiers! Every veteran alive today is a survivor, not only of a war, but of a psychological battle.
• Suicide aside-- divorce, broken families, substance abuse, homelessness-- these are huge sacrifices that affect far too many soldiers.
• What's a solution?  We need to step up as a society. We owe it to our Veterans. Make sure you're letting your elected officials know that post-deployment {and even general} psychological services for are troops are an issue to be addressed. Reach out to service members in your own life. Find ways to volunteer in your area. Just do *something*!  
• {and PS it's not an issue of whether you support our wars/conflicts/president. This is an issue of owing these people who have volunteered to protect us and fight on our behalf.}
• Lastly, I apologize that this is longer than I intended. That always happens when I address this topic, but I just can't keep it short. But, I figure, "hey, this is my space. I can say whatever I want." And I will. And I will continue until there is not even one single public servant who feels as if his problems are better off solved by ending her life; that his answers to problems are found at the bottom of the bottle or after drug fix; that he is no longer capable of connecting with his wife and/or caring for her children because she simply can't take care of her own psychological distress. 

11.11.11

Today is Veteran’s Day! Let’s celebrate, honor, support, and pray for our soldiers today {and every day!}.

To all the Veterans who’ve served—thank you for all of your sacrifice. To the men and women serving today—I pray for your safety every day. To all the military families—from one to another, let’s stand together and support our heroes. I happen to live with an American hero—what a lucky girl am I.

As a country, we have really stepped up to the plate in terms of supporting our troops {after the disaster of Vietnam-era wake up call}. Many send care packages, others support families of deployed soldiers. We thank soldiers in uniform. And on a day like today, we remember those who’ve given the ultimate sacrifice.

And now for a soapbox if you will. We are dropping the ball at really, *really* taking care of our veterans. All politics aside, it is undeniable. I am a student of Counseling Psychology, and with a newly appointed military psychology focus. {Just ask Derek who has had to repeatedly listen to my plan about moving to Chicago so I can join the Doctoral Clinical Psych, Military track program at Adler School of Professional Psychology}. 

My research into the military psychology is heartbreaking. And I know that I am just a very empathic, passionate person and being that I have chosen to focus my education and my career in this, I of course am more vested in this than most. {Again, just ask Derek who has to listen as I vent, I cry, I anguish into the wee hours of the night about the psychological distress that is evident in a war movie/tv show we watched, i.e. The Hurt Locker, Battle Los Angeles}. But even for the rest of you, this should matter to you.

This is a tiny portion of what Adler Professional School of Psychology has to say about today’s veterans:

Collectively they suffer above-average rates of psychological problems, substance abuse, suicide, and chronic homelessness. Veterans… often experience challenges with reintegration into society, preparing for additional deployment, recovering from a traumatic injury, trying to further their education, and trying to manage all of the above while attempting to seek treatment for mental health or substance abuse problems.

Did you read that!? And these are the soldiers who have been returned to us alive. These aren’t just the ones who’ve lost limbs and/or have other medical issues. These are the “normal” guys! Yet, these guys {and gals} are struggling to stay sober, to find a place to live, to stay alive in our own country. It’s not only the ones who have made the ultimate sacrifice that are our heroes—our heroes include every single man and women who make their way back onto free soil and attempt to live a “normal” life that will never, ever compare to our civilian normalcy.

It turns out that the National Guard and Reserve soldiers have suicide rates that are higher than active duty. The military community in our area consist of mainly of guardsmen and reservists, so this hits home. These guys are caught between two worlds—the military world and the civilian world the rest of us live in. While the active duty guys like to poke fun at the guardsmen and reservists because of the “easy” life they are granted— only dealing with army stuff {PT, army BS, so on and so forth} once a month. And it’s true—they only have to do those things once a month, but it also means that they only experience the camaraderie and support once a month. They are not surrounded by people who “get it”, who have “been there”, or with whom they can share an unspoken bond. They have been more affected by the economic downturn. Many are unable to find employment, unable to pay for housing, which are primary benefits of enlisting full time. Many are falling through the cracks and we need to make sure we are reaching out to our civilian warriors. They may seem so much like us—going about their daily lives, working at a normal job, but you can’t take the warrior out of a veteran. It is still there, whether you can see it or not.
But guardsmen or reservist or active duty, whether serving in Army, Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force— they all suffer. In fact, another article states:

Although only 1 percent of Americans have served in the military, former service members represent 20 percent of suicides in the United States.

Holy cow. We are losing just as many {if not more} soldier here on our turf than overseas.
One of life’s questions that I will never understand is why those who’ve made the commitment to fight for others, why must they carry such heavy burdens for their remaining existence? Shouldn’t they be free from mental warfare for volunteering to go into physical warfare!? Physical warfare for you and for me. It’s just not fair. 

Many of our veterans are fighting still today— fighting to maintain mental stability, fighting to keep their marriages together, fighting to find a purpose in life, fighting to become what they used to be before the scars of war were etched in their souls.

Please read sentence over, and over, and over again. Let is sink in to the depths of your toes. May your gratitude, thankfulness, respect amplify ten-fold. The sacrifice our soldier have, and are, making is not simply to lay their life on the line if duty calls… but to sacrifice what is often considered “normal” mental health. Marriages are failing, drug and alcohol rates are sky-rocketing, and we’ve already taken a look at the suicide rates. Our soldiers have sacrifice continues for a lifetime and we civilians need not to forget it.

What are you doing to help, support, encourage the veterans near you?

We all need to be doing something. Something bigger than what we may already be doing. Something more than a simple facebook status on this holiday, more than forwarding a sentimental email. Go out and actually *do* something. Find a group that supports our veterans; create one if you can’t find one. Shake hands of vets. Teach your kids. Send care packages. Adopt a veteran. The opportunities are endless. The important thing to remember here is to continue to support, encourage, and pray for those soldiers who’ve already made it home. They still have a battle to fight.

Consider sending a card to a veteran, courtesy of Tiny Prints. Just like them on facebook follow the directions. I’ve done it—it’s super simple and it doesn’t cost a thing. They have even teamed up with an organization to determine where to send the cards!

We met up with great grandpa for our annual visit to the Hy-Vee breakfast. Derek had the day off, so he was able to join us! We love our vets—especially Daddy and Great-Grandpa!


Happy Veteran’s Day! Enjoy it! And make a wish—it’s 11.11.11, a once in a lifetime occurrence {for most of us anyway}. God Bless!