Why I go to Grad School

Last night I worked at the ranch. I filled in for a few minutes at the bar and as I watched the tip jar repeatedly fill up to the top I had the thought, "why am I going to all this hassle of grad school when I could make good money simply by bartending?" I joked backed and forth with a few of my friends via text message on the topic. And I decided that I just needed to quit the stress of school. I'd quit bringing home school work and start bringing home cash.

But today I stumbled across this article on the interwebs. I love finding articles about military psychology, but at the same time, the whole topic just eats at me. I can't shake it off. I've brought it up before; it's my passion. And in that lies my answer of why I am going to grad school in the first place: that one day I will be able to be a part in the solution to the crisis of mental health issues in the armed forces and their families. One day.

I really, really want y'all to read the article itself. As I was reading, I kept wondering if the author was reading my mind while writing. But for those who don't get the chance to read it {it's super easy, just click here!} I'll share some highlights.

A Veteran’s Death, the Nation’s Shame

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

Published: April 14, 2012

Stats: 

• For every soldier killed on the battlefield this year, about 25 veterans are dying by their own hands. 
• More than 6,500 veteran suicides are logged every year — more than the total number of soldiers killed in Afghanistan and Iraq combined since those wars began. {!!}

The issue:

• One reason for veteran suicides (and crimes, which get far more attention) may be post-traumatic stress disorder, along with a related condition, traumatic brain injury. 

• Preliminary figures suggest that being a veteran now roughly doubles one’s risk of suicide. 

• Presidents commit troops to distant battlefields, but don’t commit enough dollars to veterans’ services afterward. 

Regarding the VA {Veteran's Affairs}

• It is also chipping away at a warrior culture in which mental health concerns are considered sissy.

• The V.A.has improved but still doesn’t do nearly enough about the suicide problem.

The story incorporates the story of a Mom of a suicide-victim vet and another son dealing with major psychological distress from deployment.

• She sent two strong, healthy men to serve her country, and now her family has been hollowed in ways that aren’t as tidy, as honored, or as easy to explain as when the battle wounds are physical. 

• “When Ryan joined the Army, he was willing to sacrifice his life for his country,” she said. “And he did, just in a different way, without the glory." {amen}

My thoughts: 

• I agree with Corps Sgt. Maj. Bryan B. Battaglia: “Whether it be [a suicide] every 80 minutes or one every 80 weeks, one is obviously one too many.”
• This is further evidence that a battlefield exists right here at home for many soldiers! Every veteran alive today is a survivor, not only of a war, but of a psychological battle.
• Suicide aside-- divorce, broken families, substance abuse, homelessness-- these are huge sacrifices that affect far too many soldiers.
• What's a solution?  We need to step up as a society. We owe it to our Veterans. Make sure you're letting your elected officials know that post-deployment {and even general} psychological services for are troops are an issue to be addressed. Reach out to service members in your own life. Find ways to volunteer in your area. Just do *something*!  
• {and PS it's not an issue of whether you support our wars/conflicts/president. This is an issue of owing these people who have volunteered to protect us and fight on our behalf.}
• Lastly, I apologize that this is longer than I intended. That always happens when I address this topic, but I just can't keep it short. But, I figure, "hey, this is my space. I can say whatever I want." And I will. And I will continue until there is not even one single public servant who feels as if his problems are better off solved by ending her life; that his answers to problems are found at the bottom of the bottle or after drug fix; that he is no longer capable of connecting with his wife and/or caring for her children because she simply can't take care of her own psychological distress. 

Almost There

Jackson and I have been marking off the days on the calendar until Derek comes home. Tomorrow marks 14 days… and then he’ll be back on Sunday. He’s actually done tomorrow, but in true army fashion they won’t let them leave until Saturday morning. But then, spending the past two weeks at WLC doesn’t disqualify him from April drill, so he has to report on Sunday morning to his normal unit. Only a few more days. We got this…

I’m sort of all over the place. So I’m thinking bullet points are the best option.

• First and foremost—I’m listening to Justin Bieber right now. I was really just in the mood. I’m kinda embarrassed, but I’ll own up it. My fave: Somebody to Love.
• I have been all over the place while Derek’s been gone. It’s embarrassing and I’m sure the feminists hate me for being so dependent on a man. But seriously, the other day I started walking into the store until I realized that I LEFT THE CAR RUNNING. Good grief. Ask me to make a decision—I just can’t do it. Too much brain power goes into kids/house/school that I have nothing left for common sense.
• Jackson is having the hardest time with Derek gone. Three is just difficult anyway and it’s just been worse the past two weeks. He asks about Daddy after most breakdowns and searches the house whenever we come back home after running an errand. Typing it out breaks my heart and I now I feel like a terrible mommy for not being more patient, but it’s just been tough.
• A sweet friend of mine at church yesterday asked if Jackson wanted to spend the night and play at her house today. I nearly cried {see, can’t keep it together!} I felt bad for needing to accept the offer, but I had to and it was beneficial for both me and Jackson. In his baby book that I don’t keep up with, this would go down as “first sleepover” {non-family} and it was with a GIRL! He’s three; it’s okay.
• Belle slept until 9:00 (!!) this morning. I haven’t slept that late in months! I also needed the sleep. I am horrible at going to sleep at a reasonable hour.
• I realize I’ve been sooooo whiney during Derek’s training. I apologize to my friends and family. Thank you for still loving me. :)
• I hate Power Rangers. It’s no secret if you’re on facebook. The concept is dumb. It has made Jackson way more aggressive. And the show is sooooo lame, as in “Hey Kimberly, who’s the raddest boy in your class?” And their dinosaur machines all connecting to make one giant can’t-be-defeated bad guy—why don’t they just use that first instead of a last resort? And it kind of seems like a Transformers knock-off.
• Tweeting is what happens when I don’t have someone to hangout in real life. I have a need to talk {just ask my mom, she’ll tell you stories…} and when I can’t use my real voice, I have to do so online!
• The whole thing about Ann Romney not being qualified to be the voice of women’s rights because she was a stay-at-home-mom is so ridiculous. Even if she didn’t ever HAVE to work outside the home, that doesn’t make her out of touch with those who have. I need to stop there because I could just go on and on and on.
• Top three things I enjoy when Derek’s gone: Driving my van everywhere even though it gets horrible gas mileage. Being in charge of our daily schedule and plans. Having my shoes all over the house—and knowing exactly where they are because I left them there!
• Top three things I don’t enjoy: Eating crappy meals because cooking for two kids {who would rather have PB&J anyway} is lame. Having no one in bed to warm my cold feet {this would probably be on the top of Derek’s best-things-about-being-gone list}. Dealing with all the poop by myself.
• Back when I made a list about positive aspects of his absence back in 2010, the top of the list was not having to explain to people that “Daddy dressed him” when Jackson was completely mismatched. Well, this is what Jackson wore yesterday IN PUBLIC. His favorite basketball shirt, blue army shorts, mismatching socks {and he wore little work boots as well.} Wow. And today, it was in the 40s and Jackson insisted on wearing shorts “because he’s brave”. I didn’t have it in me to make him change. Maybe he will get a little more fashion sense as he grows older, right?

Easter Events

It was kind of a bummer celebrating Easter without Derek, but it was harder on him I think than it was on us. Thankfully, Easter means more to our family than just spending time with family and hiding plastic eggs. Jackson is beginning to understand why we celebrate Easter and that really reminded me of what’s really important!

As I got out this sticker activity thing that tells the story of Easter, Jackson pointed to the cross and said, “I know that! We talked about that at MOPS!” I was so proud. And he told me that the stone was rolled away and that the angel was there. That sure made this Mommy proud.

But of course, we still had an Easter Egg hunt for the kids. And we did this before Derek left. It worked out perfectly—the weather was wonderful and it was good practice before they were bombarded by hoards of kids at our church egg hunt.

 

Once Belle figured out there was candy inside the egg, she quit caring about finding more eggs and spent her time trying to open the few eggs she already had in her basket.

These guys were far too excited about their eggs and candy to hold still and look at me for even a second for me to take a picture!

 

Okay, I got Jackson to cooperate after Belle got up, but this is the best smile I got. I love this goofy boy! And I want to make sure to document that Jackson refers to the activity of finding Easter eggs as “Easter Egg Hunking”. That cracks me up.

I spent the holiday up at my parents house. Both of my sisters were in town and it was nice to go to church with them.

The kids looked so good in their Easter outfits. Jackson looked so, so handsome. I am going to have to have him wear the outfit again soon so I can get more pictures! He was a little stud muffin. Belle, on the other hand, loves to pose for the camera. She doesn’t hold still for long, but she loves the attention!

The kids opened their Easter baskets first thing in the morning.

Belle immediately started snuggling her stuffed animal and Jackson was super excited about his toy gun {which is staying at Grammy’s house!!}  

Gram Gram and Grandma Dryer drove down from Trenton for lunch, which was delicious. I had the responsibility of cooking the ham and ya know, it was pretty tasty if I do say so myself. {okay, it was a precooked ham and everything, but I’m still taking credit.}

Belle and Aunt Wa-wa. Jackson spent most of the day with Ashley and her boyfriend, Zach. Whenever Zach is around, Jackson becomes his little shadow.

 

The weather was wonderful!

And Aunt Wa-Wa snapped some super cute pictures of my kiddos.

Is this little girl not the most precious little thing ever!? This picture just makes me want to pick her up and give her lots of cuddles and kisses!!

We didn’t get around to dying Easter eggs until today. Jackson had lots of fun. He wasn’t a fan of waiting while the eggs soaked for a bit, but he sure loved switching colors!

 

The finished eggs! Too bad Jackson doesn’t like boiled eggs, but Belle sure does!          
Okay, so sorry for massive amount of photos in this post! Derek misses the kids so I wanted to make sure he had plenty of picture to hold him over until next Sunday. Hope you and your family had a blessed Easter!

Halfway

**Have you had the chance to enter my giveaway for free Chick-fil-a? The giveaway ends tomorrow!**

Derek has completed week 1 of WLC Training and has only one week left. Here’s what we’ve been up to while he’s been sitting in classes all week:

We went to the Farmer’s Market in downtown KC. I love it. I can’t wait to go back in a few months when the vendors have local produce for sale!

My kids loved it too. Jackson enjoyed eating the snacks as I bought them! After buying two pounds of grapes, we only made it home with a few! Belle enjoyed her banana {but not being buckled in!}.

We drove up to Trenton to last Monday visit Gram-Gram and our Favorite Uncle Richard. We also got to see Katelyn and Great Aunt Margie. By the time I was going to take a picture, every one was napping so I didn’t get one. Next time though.

We stayed two night at my parents house. Their porch is my kids’ favorite place to play. Both love the swing!
Belle especially likes to sit with Papa! {Notice Dad’s shirt: “I have the body of a God. Unfortunately it’s Buddha.” Hahahaha}.

And look at this romper!! I loooooove it. And I’m so glad I found it at a thrift store for $1. I just love these little outfits so much and the little ruffles on her tush. The baby blue eyes and sweet curls—Cutest thing ever.

Jackson likes to help Papa in the yard. And by help, it generally means play outside. Unless some machine makes noise and Jackson runs inside. He doesn’t like loud noises. Ironic as he makes loud noises. all. the. time.   

I decided last week that I simply couldn’t wait any longer to do something to Belle’s room. My fam came down on Friday and we got to work. Belle was a big help {in a not at all sort of way, but at least she’s cute—check out that bedhead!}

Jackson was a big help too.

I wish one of the kids were to blame for this mess… but not true. Yes, this is a gallon of paint on the carpet. The expensive kind of paint that has primer in it {which I don’t really recommend} so I was bummed about wasting it! We did get it cleaned up and I promise to show you a picture. Maybe along with a how-to-get-a-gallon-of-paint-out-of-carpet tutorial.

 

Lest you think that life just seems kind full of fun non-routine activities and a nice opportunity to spend lots of time with my family {which both happen to be true}… it is HARD when Derek is gone. We do things to keep busy. People really do a good job taking care of me and the kids—his parents, my parents, Great Grandpa, but it’s still hard. I feel like I just can’t keep it together when he’s gone!Two weeks should sound like nothing after he was gone for nine months last year, but seriously, I’m pooped {and consequently, sick and tired of dealing with poop all by myself. Ick}.

Jackson told his MOPS teacher the other day that he didn’t have a dad, only a mom, because his daddy was gone at army work. That really broke my heart. I’ve tried to talk about Derek a lot with the kids. Derek called one day over lunch to talk to Jackson and Jackson nearly flipped out. I said, “Daddy’s on the phone.” And Jackson squeals, “My Dad??” and goes nuts jabbering with excitement. He asked everyone in the house if they wanted to talk to his Dad too! Belle will pick up a cell phone and say, “Hi Daddy!” They miss their Daddy so much. I do too.

Oh yes. Along with everything else, we’ve also : reading, writing papers, taking quizzes, and going to class—Ethics, Group Counseling, and Differential Diagnosis of Mental Disorders, oh my! Ugh. Is it May yet?!

 
Derek will be home one week from today. Fortunately he thought ahead to take Monday off work. He’ll need some time to catch up on sleep {he’s been getting up at hours that I consider middle of the night!} but we’ll get to catch up on family time too. Can’t wait!

Chick-Fil-A Kids Meal Giveaway

My love of Chick-fil-A is hardly a secret. I love the food. I love the service {remember when I posted about the manager who carried an umbrella over me and my two kiddos until I loaded them into the car!?}. As if I didn’t already love CFA enough, I received an email last week that made me love Chick-fil-A even more.
Chick-fil-A has expanded their kids menu to offer more nutritious options for our kiddos… AND they are offering a free kids meal for THREE of my lucky readers. They have created a neat Old School Fun app that offers classic old school games for the family and a fun throwback quiz!

Have a look around at the fun outdoor family activities and check out the Old School Quiz. I tallied in as The Bomb Dot Com—flared jeans, cassette tapes, and pogs, oh my! But I really want you to take a quick look here at this infographic.

For the past almost four months now, our family has been making healthier food choices. We eat a ton more fruits and veggies. We are cutting back on sugar and sweets. And I am trying my best to eliminate High Fructose Corn Syrup and Trans fats completely—those two guys pop up everywhere! But not at Chick-fil-A. I found on their website that CFA removed trans fat from the ENTIRE menu in 2008 and they have recently eliminated high fructose corn syrup from its chocolate milk, and some salad dressings and sauces.
The other day, I took the kids to Chick-fil-A so they could play and I could use their free wi-fi. We tried the grilled nuggets and I have go to say that they are delish—much better than I expected to be honest. I hope they bring them to the adult menu soon!

Three of my lucky winners will win a free Chick-fil-A kids meal! Enter using the widget below!