My MSCP: the details

Despite my frequent mentions about grad school here on the blog, including the post of my graduation last week, I'm not certain I ever formally introduced my degree program. I started graduate school in January of 2008, though my case load varied from semester to semester. There were times in which I'd manage a mere six credit hours a year and others I'd complete sixteen. Either way, it's just been a part of my {our} life for so long that it never actually warranted it's own blog post... until now.

Actually, I've had several people ask. I love what I've studied and therefore love the opportunity to talk a little bit about it. Truthfully, my favorite blogs to read are the ones that give me a glimpse into an experience in which I'm not, and most likely will never be, acquainted (from reading about applying to med school to self-publishing a book), so that's my intent here. My goal is to put out some sort of psychology topic on Sundays, hence the oh-so-creative title for this "series", PsychSunday.

So, without further ado...

Once I finish my summer class, I will have earned my Master's of Science in Counseling Psychology degree (MSCP). Universities across the country vary in offering MA and MS degrees. This is an expert from a counseling blog that sums up the difference, though the biggest difference is likely the color of the hood received at graduation.

MA: Master of Arts. Clinicians who hold this degree are generally educated in programs that combine coursework and applied practicums. If they are also licensed, these individuals are either counselors or therapists, often depending on their theoretical persuasion. 

MS: Master of Science. Also counselors or therapists, these professionals come from degree programs that focus more on research (hence, science). For all intents and purposes, the Master level degree carries about the same weight when it comes to applied practice.

Basically, this degree prepares students to assess, diagnosis, and provide treatment for mental health disorders. That is a very general statement considering that the recommendations for licensure vary from state to state. My program at Avila University meets the requirements for students to pursue licensure in the states of Missouri and Kansas.

Master's programs often vary in credit hour requirements. Master's degrees in the teaching field are often 30-ish hours and the IT program Derek is starting is also in the 30 hour range. Due to state licensing requirements, my degree requirement consisted of 60 credit hours, all of which were required to be obtained in the physical classroom. While their universities that offer online courses that count toward graduation, those courses are ineligible to count towards licensure (which means you'd have to take them over again in a brick and mortar school). At times, it was a real pain to travel to school especially knowing that there are thousands of other people are obtaining their degrees in sweatpants on their couch. However, counseling and psychology (often considered two distinct fields) are very social fields. The experience of classmates, group projects, and even observing the demeanor of the professors are huge components to the learning experience.

The coursework required for this program includes counseling skills, theories, assessments, developmental psychology, diagnostics, statistics and research, along with some cognitive and biological psychology classes too. Of course, there is practicum and internship too, though I'll share about those next week!

Hanging up the SAHM hat

Christmas was fantastic. Everything I could have dreamt it to be and more. Like I said on Twitter yesterday, Nothing is sweeter than experiencing the joy of Christmas with young children! I'll try to get around to posting some pictures soon! :)

This Christmas has been particularly chaotic for me. Not so much in having actual things to do and cram into the schedule, but my mind has just been cluttered-- which has then left me cramming things in at the last minute because I completely forgot a lot of things! Lots of joy and happiness have been filling my heart and mind in the past few days and weeks, but also anxiety and stress.

Next Wednesday I will trade in my Stay At Home Mom hat for a new Working Mom hat. 

Granted, it's a working-for-free hat as it's my internship for grad school. {And in fact, I am actually PAYING to for the college credits and PAYING for childcare.} But nonetheless, it's happening. My kids will be going to full-time childcare while I will be interning and going to class.

I never expected myself to be here, really. I wrote last year about being "just" a mom and I found total contentment {and complete joy} in doing just that. This new season is right around the corner; I'm excited. I keep reminding myself of that. But it is SO hard to know I will not be around with/for my kids full time. Tears well up even just typing it!

I've been putting off this paper work because I just want to write out every little thing about how to care for my kids-- please make sure the kids eat their veggies for lunch first. Jackson likes to snuggle after his nap. Belle would be happy to sit on your lap all day to read books-- as if I feel like I won't ever be able to snuggle or read to my kids again. It's completely ridiculous how irrational this whole ordeal has made me!

There is a ton of positive aspects to this new change-- I'll be GRADUATING in July. I will be getting to MAKE A DIFFERENCE as a therapist at a homeless and substance abuse center in our city. My kids will get to play with several other kids and have awesome structure in a way that I am plain terrible at providing. Oh, and I couldn't be happier with the kids' teacher, Ms Beth! As soon as I decided to take on this full time endeavor, she was my first contact to see if she had any openings and I am thankful beyond belief that she did!

All that being said, I am still in fact, very sad about leaving the kids. The reality didn't even set in until last week when I went to finalize the details for childcare. Up until that point, this whole plan was just something "in the future"... only now it's, like next week.

I know in my head that everything will be fine, just as everyone keeps telling me. But I am still incredibly anxious and sad. Mostly, I'm anxious about how the kids will adjust {especially that Jackson has cried on more than one occasion specifically saying that he just wants to stay home and doesn't want to go to school.} But, I know they'll have a ton of fun. Plus, I really think the structure will be great for him.

I'm sad just because I really do LOVE being at home with my kids-- even on crazy days. I love going to the park, story time, playdates with friends. I love the flexibility to play in the snow or swim in the pool; to visit Daddy at work and lunch with Great Grandpa. Truthfully, I find great fulfillment in staying home with my kids. Staying at home wasn't every Option B, but rather something I have always planned and wanted to do. So, my sadness is really just a sorrow for what will be missed {mostly on my part because my kids probably won't care}.

In short,

• Good news: I'll be GRADUATING in July. NO MORE SCHOOL!
• Good news: I will finally be doing what I've been studying to do for five years now.
• Bad news: The kids will be going to full time childcare instead of staying home with me.
• Good news: I couldn't be happier with our childcare provider.
• Good news: This is only a seven month plan here. I will be at home with my kids again. 
• Bad news: I'm an emotional mess. 
• Good news: Once the new schedule begins, the anxiety of the unknown will fade and we can work on finding a new normal.
• Good news: I've been getting a lot of my "want to get done" list because for some reason, I feel like I will never have time to do anything ever again.
• Bad news: That's still six days away... six more emotional days coming up
• Good news: My husband is AWESOME. He's been a total support from start to finish with my school and he's been a champ with dealing with all the crying {because normally, I rarely cry. But these days, just one thought about, "no summer reading programs this year" and I'm a mess.}
• Good news: I am surrounded by positive and encouraging family and friends from all over. Really, I hope y'all have as great of friends as I do. 
• Good news: My mother-in-law has told me that my house will stay cleaner because the kids won't have as much time to tear it apart! :)
• Good news: I have an entire new wardrobe because yoga pants and sweatshirts {acceptable mom attire} aren't acceptable in the "real world". 
• Good news: I am more concerned about the transition of not being a stay at home mom than I am about being a mental healthcare provider to homeless men with substance abuse addictions. I guess that means I'm ready!! 

Of course, the positives outweigh the negatives. It's a shame the emotions with negatives are just so prevalent! It's a conscious choice to focus on the good and I need to be doing that more.

I welcome any and all advice on being a working mom and/or ways to get the most out of time with the kids in the evenings! I also covet prayers for my kids as this will be a big transition for them, especially Jackson. I'd love prayers for the rest of this week-- for it to go smooth and for us to enjoy our time together!

Clients. I have clients.

Clients. This semester, I have clients. Seven actually. Three sessions each. That's 21 hours of actual counseling hours this semester. This, my dear readers, is why I haven't been around much!

The clients are volunteers from the university, so I'm not dealing with any major psychotic diagnoses. However, combining the knowledge from all of my prior classes and mixing it with some skills I've picked up along the way-- it's still an abundant amount of work. Mostly emotionally and mentally, but it still leaves me exhausted. That, and I'm still a bit nervous that someone might end up with poorer mental health issues than when we first met.

But! I've survived the process and so far, so good. I've found confidence in many ways and am learning more than a textbooks could ever provide. It's beginning to settle in that I am actually capable (and almost qualified per state regulation) to diagnose and treat mental disorders. Of course, there's still a ways to go-- but I am almost there.

In fact, I've been scoping out internship sites and I even had an interview a few weeks ago. While my number one preference would be to work for an agency that provides counseling and support for veterans regarding reintegration, depression, PTSD, substance abuse, and the like... there isn't one in Kansas City {the VA does their counseling work through social workers, not counselors}. So, I considered the available options and have narrowed down my picks to a couple of homeless and substance abuse treatment facilities nearby. Turns out, over half of the clients in these facilities are actually veterans anyway.

But anyway, back to current events.

Having purpose outside of the home has been a major adjustment! It's not only the hours when I'm at school, but the constant role switching that goes on throughout the day. It's the back and forth that's hard. I'm getting the kids a snack and then I get a ding about a client session. I respond and then I'm back to snack time. Or I'm scheduling and planning sessions during nap time, but I still have to figure out what to cook for dinner. Whew! I have not found my groove yet. {And apparently, this makes me grumpy. Poor Derek.}


Thursdays are long days. I do mommy stuff all morning and then I head to school at 1:00. This week I have sessions from 2-4, class from 4-6:00 and then 6-9:00 and then another session after that! I eat dinner in class. Even though the day is long, it's still easier, in my opinion because I don't have to go back and forth.


The absolutely worse part of the this semester: Planning sessions around seven client schedules, our babysitter's schedule, and the schedule of rooms available to use on campus. It is nothing short of a nightmare. Thankfully, we have a babysitter that is super flexible and that our kids love. We just couldn't do it without her!

Each week is getting a little bit easier. It's really exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, in terms of grad school. It was starting to feel like class was etching itself permanently into my planner. I'm trying not to get too excited though because expected graduation isn't until May 2014-- which is still almost 18 months away. But progress is progress.

Lest these posts bore you to tears, never fear. Posts including photos of the kids will resume tomorrow (hopefully... if I'm really on top of things).

Today

When we walked out the door this morning, we were greeted by the very first bloom from my knock-out rose bush! That totally brightened my morning.

I took Jackson to go get his allergy shots. Even though we have switched from going every week to every other week—he doesn’t really know the difference. He really hates it. And it breaks my heart when he cries. I love his doctor’s office though because the ladies love to play with Belle so I can love on Jackson when he needs it. Fortunately the mention of Jimmy John’s cheered him up.

I looooooove Jimmy John’s! And today, they feel the same way about me as they had their subs for $1. Delish.

Jackson kept saying, “Jimmy John’s is like Papa Johne! They match!" I can only imagine his excitement when he figures out that there’s an actually place called Papa John’s {besides my parent’s house!}

The gas light came on in my van on the way to Jimmy John’s so we stopped to get gas. I hate pumping my own gas so I was kinda annoyed, but then I rememebered to use my Price Chopper rewards card. I was less grumpy when I filled up for $3.11/gallon. {thanks Mom for stocking up those rewards!}

I am desperately trying to get the grass to grow in my backyard, so I turned on the sprinkler when we got home. Next thing I know, my kiddos are giggling and soaking wet. It’s waaaaaay to chili for me to play in the water {It’s gonna be like, at least 90 before I want to get wet} but these guys didn’t care. I love watching them play together!

Thursday afternoon is my allocated study time. Derek happened to have a dentist appointment in the early afternoon and when he was done, he came and did some studying of his own {he and his dad are totally into the HAMM radio stuff. nerds.}. It was almost like our undergraduate days… ha, who am I kidding—neither of us actually studied back then!

Our evening was filled with boring housework and laundry. But Derek got out his guitar and we sang some of Jackson's favorite songs. He just thought it was the coolest thing to sing with the guitar! Belle was singing too, but she insisted on being on Derek's lap while he played!

Today wasn’t anything special, just a normal day. But this is our life and this is what I want to remember!

Oh, and Jackson today was signing along to Adele today. Ya know the part that says, “rumor has it… rumor has it…” Well, he was singing, “boomer headick, boomer headick” {right tune, just wrong words}. This TOTALLY had me cracking up in the car. I didn’t correct him.

Sidenote: this would have been so much quicker and easier if I had a modern-day cell phone that supported instagram and other cool apps. My birthday is in two days and a new phone would make a perfect gift!! (ahem).

Why I go to Grad School

Last night I worked at the ranch. I filled in for a few minutes at the bar and as I watched the tip jar repeatedly fill up to the top I had the thought, "why am I going to all this hassle of grad school when I could make good money simply by bartending?" I joked backed and forth with a few of my friends via text message on the topic. And I decided that I just needed to quit the stress of school. I'd quit bringing home school work and start bringing home cash.

But today I stumbled across this article on the interwebs. I love finding articles about military psychology, but at the same time, the whole topic just eats at me. I can't shake it off. I've brought it up before; it's my passion. And in that lies my answer of why I am going to grad school in the first place: that one day I will be able to be a part in the solution to the crisis of mental health issues in the armed forces and their families. One day.

I really, really want y'all to read the article itself. As I was reading, I kept wondering if the author was reading my mind while writing. But for those who don't get the chance to read it {it's super easy, just click here!} I'll share some highlights.

A Veteran’s Death, the Nation’s Shame

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

Published: April 14, 2012

Stats: 

• For every soldier killed on the battlefield this year, about 25 veterans are dying by their own hands. 
• More than 6,500 veteran suicides are logged every year — more than the total number of soldiers killed in Afghanistan and Iraq combined since those wars began. {!!}

The issue:

• One reason for veteran suicides (and crimes, which get far more attention) may be post-traumatic stress disorder, along with a related condition, traumatic brain injury. 

• Preliminary figures suggest that being a veteran now roughly doubles one’s risk of suicide. 

• Presidents commit troops to distant battlefields, but don’t commit enough dollars to veterans’ services afterward. 

Regarding the VA {Veteran's Affairs}

• It is also chipping away at a warrior culture in which mental health concerns are considered sissy.

• The V.A.has improved but still doesn’t do nearly enough about the suicide problem.

The story incorporates the story of a Mom of a suicide-victim vet and another son dealing with major psychological distress from deployment.

• She sent two strong, healthy men to serve her country, and now her family has been hollowed in ways that aren’t as tidy, as honored, or as easy to explain as when the battle wounds are physical. 

• “When Ryan joined the Army, he was willing to sacrifice his life for his country,” she said. “And he did, just in a different way, without the glory." {amen}

My thoughts: 

• I agree with Corps Sgt. Maj. Bryan B. Battaglia: “Whether it be [a suicide] every 80 minutes or one every 80 weeks, one is obviously one too many.”
• This is further evidence that a battlefield exists right here at home for many soldiers! Every veteran alive today is a survivor, not only of a war, but of a psychological battle.
• Suicide aside-- divorce, broken families, substance abuse, homelessness-- these are huge sacrifices that affect far too many soldiers.
• What's a solution?  We need to step up as a society. We owe it to our Veterans. Make sure you're letting your elected officials know that post-deployment {and even general} psychological services for are troops are an issue to be addressed. Reach out to service members in your own life. Find ways to volunteer in your area. Just do *something*!  
• {and PS it's not an issue of whether you support our wars/conflicts/president. This is an issue of owing these people who have volunteered to protect us and fight on our behalf.}
• Lastly, I apologize that this is longer than I intended. That always happens when I address this topic, but I just can't keep it short. But, I figure, "hey, this is my space. I can say whatever I want." And I will. And I will continue until there is not even one single public servant who feels as if his problems are better off solved by ending her life; that his answers to problems are found at the bottom of the bottle or after drug fix; that he is no longer capable of connecting with his wife and/or caring for her children because she simply can't take care of her own psychological distress. 

Back to School

I went to my first class of the semester tonight. Remember just a few months ago when I wrote a super heartfelt post about totally embracing being “just a mom”!? Well, at some point in the mere weeks after that post, I was overcome by the finishing-grad-school itch. This January marks the fourth year of classes… obviously not full time. But classes here and there. A break after each kid was born, a summer off when we bought and remodeled our home.

 

Also in attendance was my faithful purple backpack that was purchased for my freshman year at undergrad. Oh my goodness, she’ll turn 10 years old this year! That totally just dawned on me! I love this backpack. It has spongy straps that make carrying books less annoying plus, it’s decorated with a keychain a friend got for me in high school.

 

 

 

I am 27 hours into the 60 hours required to graduate with my Master’s in Counseling Psychology. It’s this giant task at which I haven’t finished, and until I finish, I feel like I’m a failure. I just want to get it over with. {That sounds as if I don’t enjoy school, and I mean, I don’t love all the work, but I do actually enjoy it. I just don’t like it hanging over my head: You still have XX hours left. You still have to apply for candidacy. You still need to find an internship.}

So, I enrolled in classes. Three of them. We took a round-about process that will better suit our family schedule and our finances, which is awesome. But regardless, that is still nine hours of grad school in one semester. The most I’ve done was six and that was a very hard time! But I can do this {or so my husband keeps telling me!}.

We’ve gotten pretty organized in the process of planning for the semester. Failing to plan is planning to fail, right? I will be staying with my parents on Monday evenings and Mom will have the kids when I’m at class all day on Tuesdays {classes eight hours in one day!? Not sure I can survive this}. They live much closer to my Tuesday school. I have another class on Wednesday evenings. It’s a hybrid class, so we only meet for an hour and a half, but that also means I have to find additional hours of time in the week to watch the lectures and take notes.

Which, is why we have decided to employ a super sweet gal to come watch the kids one or two afternoons a week. This allows a dedicated time for school work and so I’m not trying to squeeze it all in after bedtime. We’ve been meal planning according to schedule and I have several frozen meals in place. Meals picked out for when I’m in class on Tuesdays and for when I’m gone in the afternoons doing school work. I still have my mornings open for MOPS, play dates, library time, and housework. Our babysitting agreement also includes one night a month to plan for a date night. I swear, if it’s not scheduled, it’s just not happening!

Good grief. I’m stressed out just writing that all down. Actually, I was stressed before that. I had my first class tonight and it was the first time it dawned on me that this is going to be a lot of hard work. Starting a little stressed has snowballed into all out ridiculousness.

I’m stressed about:

• school work/tests/papers in general
• diagnosing mental disorders—it’s is my least favorite thing to do in grad school and I have a whole class attributed to just that. Ugh.
• being the very first presenter in my diagnosis class!? Stupid last initial. Not that my maiden one was any better.
• am I even smart enough for this!?

I feel guilty about:

• not having a job to earn money
• costing money to pay for school
• costing more money for childcare
• not being there to provide the childcare for my kids
• not having super lavish birthday parties for my kids like I see on some blogs because we spend money for me to go to school instead of renting out Gymboree, hiring a decorator, and having Dora show up.

Okay seriously, those are all things floating in my head. And honestly, I am super worried about gaining a bazillion pounds. I eat when I’m stressed {a habit I am diligently trying to change}! We have been working hard at adopting a healthier lifestyle-think trips to the gym, healthier foods—and it’s really hard to commit to change in the midst of chaos.

I feel a little ridiculous getting that all out, but I needed to have it in writing. At this point, I have to trust the Lord to guide me through it all. I need to know where I started so when I come out alive on the other end, I can look back and see how the Lord brought us through.

And because I refuse to let my overwhelming thoughts get the best of me, so I made sure to make a list of blessings to give me perspective!

Blessings

• successful permission to enroll at cheaper school
• having a schedule that allows for sufficient family time
• people I love and trust to provide childcare
• great supportive husband {and family}
• opportunity to study something I’m passionate about!

Whew! This was a long post. Belle turned 11 months today! I will post with her pictures and updates tomorrow!

Crazy

As a graduate student of psychology, I am fairly familiar with the DSM IV-TR (the manual at which one uses to diagnose mental disorders). And I am quite confident that I have gone above and beyond meeting all criteria to be diagnosed as just plain crazy.

My classes started this week. I have a short one on Monday afternoons, and then a full class on Tuesday evenings. Seriously, to think I voluntarily registered for classes knowing my husband was going to be gone, having kids full time all day, a teenager with a super busy school and sports schedule, not to mention the baby I'm incubating... see, I told you I was crazy!!

I have a feeling that this past week has been a glimpse of what my life will be like for the next several months-- insanely busy. The good news is that we all survived!!

I am so far behind on blogging and most other things, as well! (I had the season finale of NCIS from Netflix sit around for three days before I even got around to watching it- and if that doesn't indicate I'm way behind, I don't know what does.) The times that I haven't been running around like a mad women, I have willfully determined to get some rest. I have got to take advantage of it when I can because I never know when that luxury will escape me.

I have taken tons of pictures and I've got lots of updates to share and I promise I'll get to it soon!! We've encountered food allergies, volleyball tournaments, updates from Derek, four-wheeling, and have started planning a special Sweet 16 birthday party! Lots of fun stuff! Stay tuned!

Where is my cell phone?!?!?!

I'm a little grumpy. I have a paper that is due tonight and it is just not going well. I have another icky headache and I just want to crawl into bed. But the biggest reason for my grouchiness is about my son turning my phone off and then leaving it God know where misplaced my phone. It has been gone since yesterday and it was the second day in a row that it happened.

I have searched the couches high and low, dug through his toy chest and all of the hiding places in each toy, trekked through the dangerous terrain of his bedroom and I have had no luck. I keep asking him where my phone is and he say, "hello! hello!" And then he acts like he is going to look for it and I get my hopes up, but then he gets distracted by some other toy and forgets.

I'm not even someone who is so completely attached to my phone. I didn't even know it was missing until four or five hours after I last knew he had it. And I don't normally let him play with my phone, but there was some major thunder going on  yesterday and playing with my phone was helping him deal (instead of running into my arms at every loud clap). And I wouldn't be a big deal if I weren't leaving for Chicago tomorrow. Aaagghhh!

Fortunately Jackson will get to spend a very fun filled few days with Grammy and Papa (and he can destroy play with their phones) while I enjoy taking a trip with my sister to see some family. At least I have an old back up that I can reactivate if needed to take with me.

Where are some of the strange places you've found items that your kids misplaced?

Does anyone else think this is an ironic post after my last one was about positive attitudes and such??

A blog with no pictures

I spent most of my time last week researching and writing a paper for my Cognitive Psych class. Being overloaded with information that I just couldn't keep to myself (feel sorry for my mom who spent six hours in a car with me right after the midterm), I have brought up the topic in several conversations and have received comments along the lines of "that's interesting" and "I didn't know that."

Sooooooo....... Here's a link to my paper. Single spaced for your reading pleasure (and because my professor is "green" and simplistic.)

Okay, so I realize that only a few of the people that really love me will actually read it, but here's the basics:

• you can and do generate new brain cells as adults
• exercise enhances new cell growth significantly
• exercise and new brain cell growth is linked to better learning, keeping depression at bay, and in the recovery of brain injury or trauma (i.e. recovery from radiation damage in the brain- Katelyn, this is for you!)

This post may or may not be in response to having to give the camera I was borrowing back to my parents so they could take pics of my sisters all prettied up for prom this weekend. Dad asked me if he needed to give me the camera back before I could update my blog. Haha. Nope! Give it a few hours before he calls and tried to figure out how to get the camera back to me asap. (I have a feeling he keeps up with the blog because of the stories/pictures/videos of his grandson and not because he's super anxious to read by graduate school papers.)

Bits and Peices

I may or may not be procrastinating my paper on neurogenesis in the hippocampus while posting this blog.

I have practically exhausted my word typing limit for the day, so that I just have a few random pics and a cute video to share from earlier this week.

Sweet Puppy Love- how they go from annoying each other to insisting on being right next to each other- I can never understand.

Okay, so they make bibs these really cool bibs that have pockets that collect food- however, Jackson would rather wear it as a cape so it loses it's functionality.

But take a look at the floor- I am quite sure that even if the bib/cape was functional, there is no way it could have helped with this mess.

 We had a playdate with Kalei and Braxton at McDonalds on Friday. Jackson's been good with taking bites, I just gave him half a chicken sandwich. I turned my attention to play with the baby and turned around to see this.

Jackson loves playing basketball. He has a smaller hoop in the basement that he can reach on his own, but we have to push this hoop up to the landing. He had already been shooting hoops for about 10 minutes, so he was beginning to lose interest- especially when he found he could see his reflection in the door as he jumped.

Biological Basis of Behavior.... Blah! ... Not so Blah.

Class is finally over. I took my final last Monday and I was pretty excited when I didn't have class this Monday! I have to say that Dr. Pasqualini did a great job of teaching this course. I went into the class caring nothing about Bio-Psych and every week she made it interesting and made real world applications about why it matters that we study Bio-Psych at all. I learned a lot and I even enjoyed learning it. Unfortunately, I bombed my final. I was so embarrassed to turn it in leaving some of the essays blank! I did pretty well on all of the other assignments so its doubtful that I did so bad as to bring me below a B in the course.

I'll share some of the interesting topics/stories we discussed.

The book Picking Cotton (a New York Times Bestseller) is about the true story of a girl named Jennifer who was raped and picked Ronald Cotton from a line-up as the her agressor. Based on her witness alone, he spends 7 years in prison before finally being released after DNA proved that he was not the man who had raped her. Both Jennifer and Cotton are now friends that tour together to speak at conferences about how memory works in the human mind and are advocates for research about working memory.

Jean Dominique-Bauby is a man who suffered a stroke and was left completely paralized except for the ability to wink with his left eye (with help, obviously). This man went on to write a book, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,that was made into a movie that won a Golden Globe and four Oscar Nominations. Due to the brain monitoring, the doctors were able to confirm that he was still alive and not a "vegatable", which allowed him to communicate with his friends and family.

As an assignment, we were to find a popular press article and do a critique after reading the real research to determine if the author was objective and accurate. I found an article from the Washington Post about how childhood poverty affects the working memory of the children once they become adults. It's more than just that they have less opportunities to learn or have unavailable parents because they work two jobs, but due to the changes made by chronic stress in the brain, the children who grew up poor tested lower as adults in their working memory as those who grew up in middle class. The author deemed this important due to more families crossing into the poverty level with our current economy.

We talked about a man named HM who lost his ability to make new memories after a surgery to remove his amygdala in 1953. He could tell you directions to the house he lived in at the time of the surgery, but could not name the street at which he had currently lived for 10 years. He just recently passed away. Another man, Clive, once an accomplished musician, "wakes" up every moment to claim that now, for the first time ever, he is conscious and writes it in a journal. Moments later, he scratches out his previous writing and writes it again, only this is really the first time that he has been conscious and says that when he wrote it before, he must really have been uncounscoius. Clive lives one hundred percent in the moment and is completely unaware of his past yet he can still conduct music beautifully.

We studied about how the brain process pain and watched a documentary about a woman who fell off a cliff, shattering her leg, yet she managed to climb to help for two days never feeling pain. We watched a video about children who get an entire half of their brain removed and that they survive normally with the ability of language and thinking skills just like the rest of us. And we watched a video about people who feel pain in a limb that has been removed (referred to as a phantom limb) and why/how the brain can process the pain in a limb that is not there.

My intention was not to bore you, but to share just some of the modern day examples about why brain research and study is so relevant. Again, for me to be interested at all to even blog about this, is just a testament to the professor who worked hard at making the class enjoyable for a bunch of counseling psychology students with minimal interest in bio-psych at all.

Jackson, Biology, Oscars, California

Our little fella turned four months this weekend! I just can't believe how much he has changed in just the past few weeks. He is playing (bonking his head) with toys, talking up a storm, and bouncing like crazy in his Jumparoo. He started sleeping through the night, from about 10pm-8am, about three weeks ago. I sent out an update email to some family last week bragging on this new feat and since that night, Jackson has been waking up three or four times a night. Derek says I jinxed it. Per the doctors suggestion, we started feeding Jackson cereal this week. The kid loves it! This increases the amount of laundry and the number of baths that Jackson takes!



I took Jackson to get his 4 month pictures taken last week. The little stinker will smile and giggle up a storm until you get a camera in front of his face. He would rather stare at the big black thing to figure out what it is! We did end up with a super cute picture. Isn't this kid just adorable!?!?!
More Pictures

I am almost half way through my class this semester. This is a tough one for me. I love Psychology, but more on the social and personal side as opposed to the biological stuff, which is what I am taking. When I read the textbooks for my other classes (Developmental Psych, Mental Disorders, Career Counseling, etc...) I read through it once and it all makes sense. Reading this Biological Bases of Behavior book... blah! I can read and read about dendrites, axons, basal ganglia... and I still don't really get it. Lying in bed at night I go over the flowchart of the Central Nervous System hoping it will stick with me one of these days!!!

I can't believe we got so much snow on Friday night... and it really caught me off guard! I try really hard not to watch the news (it is overall depressing and often keeps me awake at night) and so I never know what the weather is going to be like. I'll leave the house in just a t-shirt because it is 70 degrees and by the time I am on my way home, I'm freezing because it is sleeting outside! I am just so ready for spring to be here.

Last week, we had some friends over for an Oscar Party. We filled out ballots marking who we thought would win. I have won for the past three years, but lost this one. I still did pretty good. I am hoping to get out and see Slumdog Millionaire sometime. I don't really know what to expect... the past couple of years we watched the Oscar winning movies and weren't all to impressed. I do have to say that I was very entertained watching Hugh Jackman dance and sing. I think he put on a great show!!

We will be taking our first family vacation to California in a couple weeks. I am so excited-- I've never been to northern California. I went to visit a friend in San Diego over Thankgiving Break a few years back. This time we are flying in to Sacramento to visit Derek's grandpa before he moves back here! We have plans to visit San Francisco and to check out some of the giant Sequoia trees out there. I am a little anxious traveling with Jackson, like I don't quite know what I'm getting myself into. Feel free to share any advice!

25 Things

I did this little thing on Facebook, so I decided to copy and paste to my blog-- 25 Random facts about me. This took quite a bit longer than I first thought, but then I found that I could keep going, but I do realize that most people probably don't even care to read the 25 let alone more! They really don't follow any certain order- I just wrote them as they came to me.

1. I can't believe how popular this note thing is! I think I've been tagged five times this week, but I love reading what people have to say!

2. I am happily married to my college sweetheart, Derek. It will be three years in June. We have a 3 month old son, who is named after Jack Bauer. We love him so much.

3. I have an older brother (26, who just got accepted in the MBA program at Georgetown) and two younger sisters (17, a singer/performer and 16, a talented gymnast).

4. I am getting my Master's in Counseling Psychology with a certificate in Child and Adolescent Psychology. At graduation, I will be able to apply to be a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) though I would like to get my certification as a Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) eventually.

5. Derek and I will be debt free by the time we are thirty.

6. I lived in 5 states (7 cities) by the time I was in eighth grade. My dad wasn't in the military- my parents are just nomadic.

7. I was a band nerd in high school and loved it. I played the flute, but switched to the saxophone my senior year. I played the bells in the drum corp. as well. I did play volleyball, ran track, and was a cheerleader too.

8. I decided to go to Missouri State (SMSU at the time) because of their marching band. It was WAY to much work, not enough credit hours, not enough scholarship so I didn't do it after my freshman year.

9. I was in a wheelchair for a few months in high school because I was in a car accident and broke my pelvis. A year after the accident, I witnessed a car accident in the same intersection, which was so upsetting because I don't remember mine and there was blood everywhere.

10. I graduated 6th of 69 in my class in high school with 29 college credit hours.

11. I graduated college in 3 1/2 years and never took a summer class.

12. I went somewhere new every summer in college-- China (2003), Myrtle Beach (2004), Kanakuk Kamps (2004), Colorado Springs (2005).

13. Attending the Focus on the Family Institute was the most life changing experience I've had.

14. I gained 22 pounds when I was pregnant and have lost 25 since having Jackson. I'm smaller now than I have been since my freshman year of college.

15. I worked for my dad's company for two years before I moved to Raymore this summer. I miss working with him now.

16. In college, I worked at Lambert's Cafe in Branson (Ozark). I was the Okra/Fried Potato girl. No, I did not throw rolls-- boys do that.

17. I am very bummed that I never got to attend the Price is Right while Bob Barker was still the host. Someday I will still make it to the show.

17. I am so very excited about having tickets to go see Britney Spears in April with my sisters. I have always and will always be a Britney fan.

18. It is my goal to visit every continent. So far, I've got Europe, China, and of course North America (I don't count traveling in US, but I've been to Mexico and the Canadian part of Niagra Falls)

19. I had an opportunity to go to Africa when I was in high school, but my best friend and I wanted to go to Windermere instead because of the "Buffalo Boys."

20. I will make a tape to submit to be on Survivor. I actually looked into it this year before the deadline ended, but I wasn't ready to spend a month away from Jackson this August had they actually (yeah right) picked me. Derek doesn't think I'll be good at it, so I especially want to go to spite him!

21. I have started a fire from rubbing two sticks together and it was so incredibly hard.

22. I love to read. I love the Princess Diaries series and I read the Twilight series before the movie hype. My favorite is the Size 12 is Not Fat series. I have tried to read Pride and Prejudice three times but just cannot make it through.

23. I like Coke better than Pepsi, Chocolate better than Vanilla, and do not like tea or coffee.

24. I love being a stay-at-home mom. I have always wanted to stay home because my mom was always home for us. I am very grateful that we are fortunate enough to make it work.

25. I genuinely love my life.

Christmas Newsletter 2008

Our Year at a Glance

The beginning of this year found Derek and I both back in school. I began taking classes for my Master’s degree and Derek was finishing up his computer certification training at Centriq. He finished his training in February and began working for a webhosting company in Overland Park. He really enjoys his job and the people he works with. In September, he received a promotion to a level two technician.

Since finishing school and working with fellow “computer nerds,” Derek keeps busy with new computer projects daily. He has created a website and has successfully converted his computer to run on Linux instead of Windows. He has been working recently on setting up a server, which is beyond my realm of understanding.

We celebrated Derek’s birthday in March with a bunch of friends at a Kansas City Brigade game at the new Sprint Center in Kansas City. For his birthday Derek bought a motorcycle from a friend. He has enjoyed working on the bike with his dad.

In April, I traveled with my old college roommate to New York City. We spent 4 days making our way through the city and had a fabulous time. We managed the subway, walked the entire length of central park, and visited Lady Liberty.

Derek and I packed up and moved south of the city in June. Our new place is a three bedroom townhome, which feels like a mansion compared to our old place! We really like it here. I got a new job at a bank for the summer and I started classes again. Going to school and working both full-time was a challenge, but I managed just fine and really enjoyed my classes.

Over Labor Day weekend, we went to visit a friend down in Branson. It was a nice little vacation to relax, do a little shopping, and visit with friends.

I stopped working in September, but kept myself busy helping out with activities at church and getting ready for Jackson to arrive. I got a little crafty decorating his room with airplanes and picture frames. October brought us our little boy and he has been keeping us busy ever since. Now the end of the year is already upon us. We are very excited to celebrate this holiday season as a family of three! I am still deciding on whether I will start classes again in January, but we are so fortunate that I will be able to stay home with Jackson and not go back to work.

We are still teaching 4th and 5th grade Sunday School at church and we have been doing the Truth Project Bible Study on Sunday evenings

Jackson Christopher

The last week of February, Derek and I found out that I was pregnant. We waited until March to tell our families and we went to our first doctor’s appointment. I was so fortunate to have such an easy pregnancy. Derek was so very excited to find out that we were having a boy when we got to have an ultrasound in June. Jackson was born on October 28th, nine days early. He was born healthy and is really an easy going little boy. We picked the name Jackson just because we liked the name and Christopher comes from Derek’s middle name. Jackson looks a lot like his daddy including his blue eyes and some say he has his mommy’s nose. We can hardly believe how fast he is growing!

If only I had a dollar....

for every time I thought, "I should really update my blog" this past month, I'd be rich.

Moving went well. We had so much help it really only took a couple hours. Thanks everyone for your help! Our new place is fabulous! Everything that we need and use often is unpacked. We still have picture frames, decorations, etc that are still in boxes, but those things require a certain mood to set up and I just haven't had that mood yet.

The new job is going good too. I'm still in training so work is still really pretty boring. Seriously, I spent all day watching horribly tacky videos about the requirements of accepting checks, privacy laws and the Patriot Act, the paperwork required for large cash transactions, and how to prepare for and respond to a bank robbery. I suppose it could be worse. I like the people I work with, which makes going to work not so bad. The number one hazard of my job--stupid paper cuts. They are brutal!

School is demanding, but I enjoy it. My Mon/Wed class is a class on Career counseling, which I find really interesting. The class is a lot of discussion and activities (interest and personality tests, skills assessments) and that makes class go by so fast. It's fun to do the activities that we would give future clients to help them determine a career because we get to learn a lot of stuff about ourselves during the process. My professor is actually a co-worker of Linda's from JCCC. My Tue/Thurs class only meets on Tuesday evenings, but requires online posting and lots of reading for the Thursday session. The class is on child development and again I find my class really interesting, even though it is a lot of work. I have a 2 page summary due just about every Tuesday and Thursday as well as a nice big long paper in the middle of the semester. All of the days that I am in the classroom, I do enjoy being there and I enjoy learning what I'm learning. Despite the work involved, I really like being in school (minus the fortune that it costs to actually be there)!

Went to Buck Night at the Royals. It was an enjoyable night of yummy $1 hotdogs, an exciting game, and really cool fireworks.

Visited Trenton last weekend for a friends wedding. It was so beautiful and the bride, of course, was just gorgeous. We stopped in to say hi to grandmas while we were up.

Derek and his Dad are going up today to pick up his motorcycle. Things have just been so busy since March, we haven't really had time to get around to bringing it home! While they do the bike stuff, I'll stop in and visit with Jessica (Tobin and Jonas) for awhile. Which leads me to:

Just a reminder for everyone to think about someone they know who is serving our country and then just say a little "thank you" or do something nice for him/her or their families!! We had a man from church come home from after being away for a year from his family of 3 children and our friend Jessica just sent her husband off for training only couple weeks after they had their second son and there are so many out there sacrificing so much as well! Sometimes we think appreciative thoughts, but we don't actually say thanks or we assume that others are doing it and we don't need to. So go say "Thanks! We appreciate you" to someone (or lots of people) this week!

New house, New job, New school

The next two weeks of my life consist of moving, starting a new job, and starting grad school. Add the baby that I am having in November and can you imagine what my score would be on a stress test?? I am going to be 45 by the time this year is over.

New House

Derek and I are moving to Raymore, MO (south Kansas City) next weekend. It was an answered prayer finding a place that is spacious enough for us to gain an office and add a nursery at an affordable price that will not require me to go back to work after our baby is born. We are renting from a couple at church who have several properties on the street so we already know a few of our neighbors.

Our new place is a townhouse, all one level, with 3 bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen, dining room, and living room. Moving from our one bedroom apartment this place feels like a mansion. Aside from the blue carpet, it really is the perfect place for us. The location is great-- we are at the very end of the dead-end street and we are the last unit, so we don't have much traffic our way. Sometimes it is hard because I want to keep up with the Jones's who have nice big houses, but I know this is perfect for us and we are very excited. We also ordered new a new Sofa and Loveseat (or mini couch in Derek's terms) and I am very excited to have them delivered next weekend. Hopefully we'll get some pictures up soon.

We chose to move south of the city in our attempt to cut down on all the driving that we do. Derek drives about 25 minutes to work, I drive about 20 minutes north to work, plus church is an additional 30 miles from home (making it a 50 mile drive from my work to church) and I will be attending school in the south too. This decision was made when gas was $3.00/gallon, so we are very happy to be cutting down as prices keep getting higher. And its hard trying to stay active in the church when it requires so much driving! We have a handful of friends in the Northland but a majority of our friends are further south so we are looking forward to being able to hang out more with friends.

My Dad feels like he will never ever get to see his grandbaby, but I kindly remind him that we will live only about 45 minutes away and that he took us kids 12-15 hours away from our grandparents.

New Job

Since we are moving south and I currently work so far north, I had to tell Dad that I couldn't work for Trickel Construction once we moved. He has hired Kristie in October and she is now ready to take over my job when I leave in the next couple weeks. Looking for a new job was majorly stressful especially knowing that I would be quitting in November, but still needing a job that could cater to my evening classes. Through much indecision and a few interviews, I ended up taking a job at North American Savings Bank in Grandview as a teller. I think I will do alright and that I can enjoy the job. My hours are 8-5 Monday through Friday and then 8-2 every other Saturday. On the weeks that I work Saturdays, I'll get one weekday off. I start on Monday, June 2nd.

New School

I also begin school on Monday, June 2nd. I will be taking 7 graduate hours in only 2 months. Things will be very busy. My classes are Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday from 6-8:30pm and include one weekend in July. Technically I have class on Thursday evening as well, but I will log in online to contribute to discussion and to turn in class assignments. I can't help but be overwhelmed with my new schedule, but I keep reminding myself that this will only be for a couple months and when I'm done with the summer I will have 10 of the 60 hours I need to complete my Master's. At least its a start! Right now I am waiting for my FAFSA to make it to the school's financial aid office so I can get the ball rolling on getting the student loan money in and so I can buy my books. Man, are they expensive or what?!

And I guess I should mention I am actually enrolled at Avila University out of Kansas City and not MidAmerica Nazarene as I had previously been planning on. The Master's programs are similar, but the class schedules are different. MidAmerica's program is a cohort 2 year program where you and your cohort (class) move through the program together and all graduate at the same time. Their program begins each summer in June and the problem with this schedule is that after I have the baby, if I don't go back to class right away (the next week) and finish the class, then I would be behind and unable to move forward in the program until the following November. The scheduling at Avila is like that of a typical college schedule, where a handful of classes are offered I can enroll in classes (as many or as few) each semester and make sure that I meet the requirements of my program. After I take classes this summer, I will not be taking classes in the fall semester. If in the spring I feel up to taking a class or two, then I can enroll at that time. And I suppose I should also mention that I am going back to school to get my Master's in Counseling and I will also taking a few electives to achieve a certificate in Child and Adolescent Therapy.