Christmas at the Armory

This past weekend was Derek's drill weekend, but it was a special one! Sunday was the annual family Christmas celebration so we traveled up to visit his "army work", like Jackson likes to call it. He's been a part of this unit for about 18 months now and so I'm starting to feel a little more connected. 

Finding the military connection as the wife in the Guard/Reserve is a challenge as families are generally only involved in two annual activities. But also, Derek's unit location is about 80 miles away, an hour and a half drive. Most Guardsmen that I know actually serve multiple hours away from where they live, many even in different states {which can sometimes lead to large expenses in terms of finding places to sleep and meals out on drill weekends}. And while a Family Readiness Group (FRG) does exist, the families it represets are scattered across the state and so there's not a centralized location to actually go to. This is a little off topic, but it just consider it a bonus peek into our Army life. :)

The FRG had some amazing collection of gifts for the kiddos! We tried to get Belle to be interested in the cutest Pillow Pet, but she wasn't having it. There was a doll in her package and as you can tell, she was TOTALLY into it {not}. Though she was thrilled to play with one of the Spiderman tops that Jackson got in his present. 

Jackson's favorite part was when Derek took us out to the motorpool. 

Derek is a part of the signal corp. These big trucks carry giant satellites.

They took turns making special calls regarding the mission...

And lastly, Jackson showed up his upper body strength!

 Oh, and a quick pic of me and my soldier! His buddies teased him about me making him take a photo-- so naturally, I planted a big kiss on his cheek right after... :)

It was a great afternoon! I loved that the kids were able to experience a little bit of Daddy's army work so they can understand a little bit more when he leaves on the weekend to go up there. We love our soldier and we are so thankful that he gets to be celebrating this holiday with us unlike many other military families. 

Today's a happy day and a sad day

Of all the things I dreamed about teaching my kids about it never really dawned on me until today that I'd be the one to teach them about the events of September 11, 2001. My newsfeed was flooded this morning with "We'll always remember/We'll never forget" type status updates and photos-- and I realized that Jackson can't ever remember. To him, it will just be a history lesson, a story.

I've never really felt compelled to homeschool my children, but with this topic, I just knew that it was mine to teach. Not just something to talk about in a classroom someday. So today, I decided we'd talk about it. I organized some photos and videos on my computer and I let him stay up a little bit past naptime to be able to talk with him alone. He was intrigued as soon as I said, "Hey I want to talk to you about something!"

I started out telling him that today was a happy day and kind of a sad day too. First, it's Aunt Laura's 21st birthday!!! Today is a happy day to celebrate her because she's so much fun and we love her!

{we made a quick, impromptu trip to Springfield for a pre-birthday celebration this weekend}

But then we talked about why today is a sad day. A long time ago-- when Mommy still lived with Grammy and Papa and Daddy lived with Grandma Linda and Papa Forrest some people did a mean thing to our country. We talked about our country and the American flag. We talked about the towers and how the planes crashed into them. He saw photos and a short video clip of the tower collapsing and then it just wasn't there anymore.

I knew I didn't want the point of our discussion to be about the bad people in the world, so we spent just as much time talking about how people helped after the crashes. Firefighters, doctors, soldiers. And I explained about how a solider's job is to help protect us and I even snuck in a bit about how sometimes soldiers have to go away for a long time {just as good groundwork in case we experience a deployment in our future}.

Jackson kept asking, "Why do people not like our country?" And I just felt so helpless to say, "I don't have all the answers, honey. But sometimes people are just mean and we won't ever understand."

This was all a rather quick ordeal. Maybe 10, 15 minutes tops. But he was begging to keep looking at pictures and to hear more stories but I insisted that he napped. As soon as he woke up, he was asking to learn more. I wanted to document his reactions so I could share with Derek. This whole concept was brand new to him and his reactions were just so honest and genuine.

What I wasn't expecting was some of the stuff I actually captured. And I put together just a quick video because I can't help but be so proud of my little boy. The first part of the video is him just reflecting on what we've talked about. Oh, his facial expressions when he talks about the "bad guys"-- it just kills me. But, I was nearly in proud-mommy tears as he was talking about growing up to be a "protector" because it's "his job to do when he's a daddy" .... just like his Daddy. Seriously, tears all over again. My heart is full and I pray that his innocence will be around for a long, long time.



As I was quickly exploring Google in attempts to figure out ways to teach this info to a preschooler, I didn't uncover much. I pieced together some photos and videos in a way that worked and if anyone is interested, I'll share. It's nothing spectacular, but apparently he got the idea and he isn't scared or worried (which is what I was really concerned about!). Just let me know!

My Military Children

April is the month of the military child. I have two military kiddos and I got the idea to interview them {Jackson at least} about what it means to be a military child from a fellow military blogger.

Jackson is kind of young to ask an open ended question like "what does it mean to be a military child?" so I had to break it down a little bit and get him to focus for a minute on this subject.

Is Daddy a soldier? 
Yes

What does that mean?
He goes to work in soldier clothes.

What does Daddy do at soldier work?

He keeps us very safe and he works on computers.

What makes Daddy a soldier? 

He puts on soldier clothes. I don't like when he puts on his soldier 

clothes and he goes away. I like when he wears day clothes. 

And he walked away and said he was really sad and he wouldn't talk to me any more about anything. I know we are only a National Guard family; not active duty. And Derek isn't currently nor has he ever been deployed. But it still takes a toll on Jackson-- and all other reserve and guard children.

It's been almost two weeks since Derek's been home and Jackson asks Derek nearly every day how many days he will be gone when Derek leaves for work each morning. Jackson tells him to only be gone for a little bit and to come home that night. I just know that deep down, Jackson is unsure of how long his daddy will be home. And that breaks my heart. I have decided to find a local toddler with a military parent that Jackson could connect with. Maybe I can find one in the yellow pages?

{I wish Katie lived right next door! She is a much more put together military wife and her kiddos are so close to mine! Can I just say I am so grateful for the internet and blogs to help find people to connect with!?} 

I didn't sit down and have a conversation with Belle about being a military child, but her response would be something like this, "Dada. Dada" and then she'd kiss the Daddy doll we have. She's just loves her daddy.

I'm proud of my soldier and I'm super proud of my kiddos. 

11.11.11

Today is Veteran’s Day! Let’s celebrate, honor, support, and pray for our soldiers today {and every day!}.

To all the Veterans who’ve served—thank you for all of your sacrifice. To the men and women serving today—I pray for your safety every day. To all the military families—from one to another, let’s stand together and support our heroes. I happen to live with an American hero—what a lucky girl am I.

As a country, we have really stepped up to the plate in terms of supporting our troops {after the disaster of Vietnam-era wake up call}. Many send care packages, others support families of deployed soldiers. We thank soldiers in uniform. And on a day like today, we remember those who’ve given the ultimate sacrifice.

And now for a soapbox if you will. We are dropping the ball at really, *really* taking care of our veterans. All politics aside, it is undeniable. I am a student of Counseling Psychology, and with a newly appointed military psychology focus. {Just ask Derek who has had to repeatedly listen to my plan about moving to Chicago so I can join the Doctoral Clinical Psych, Military track program at Adler School of Professional Psychology}. 

My research into the military psychology is heartbreaking. And I know that I am just a very empathic, passionate person and being that I have chosen to focus my education and my career in this, I of course am more vested in this than most. {Again, just ask Derek who has to listen as I vent, I cry, I anguish into the wee hours of the night about the psychological distress that is evident in a war movie/tv show we watched, i.e. The Hurt Locker, Battle Los Angeles}. But even for the rest of you, this should matter to you.

This is a tiny portion of what Adler Professional School of Psychology has to say about today’s veterans:

Collectively they suffer above-average rates of psychological problems, substance abuse, suicide, and chronic homelessness. Veterans… often experience challenges with reintegration into society, preparing for additional deployment, recovering from a traumatic injury, trying to further their education, and trying to manage all of the above while attempting to seek treatment for mental health or substance abuse problems.

Did you read that!? And these are the soldiers who have been returned to us alive. These aren’t just the ones who’ve lost limbs and/or have other medical issues. These are the “normal” guys! Yet, these guys {and gals} are struggling to stay sober, to find a place to live, to stay alive in our own country. It’s not only the ones who have made the ultimate sacrifice that are our heroes—our heroes include every single man and women who make their way back onto free soil and attempt to live a “normal” life that will never, ever compare to our civilian normalcy.

It turns out that the National Guard and Reserve soldiers have suicide rates that are higher than active duty. The military community in our area consist of mainly of guardsmen and reservists, so this hits home. These guys are caught between two worlds—the military world and the civilian world the rest of us live in. While the active duty guys like to poke fun at the guardsmen and reservists because of the “easy” life they are granted— only dealing with army stuff {PT, army BS, so on and so forth} once a month. And it’s true—they only have to do those things once a month, but it also means that they only experience the camaraderie and support once a month. They are not surrounded by people who “get it”, who have “been there”, or with whom they can share an unspoken bond. They have been more affected by the economic downturn. Many are unable to find employment, unable to pay for housing, which are primary benefits of enlisting full time. Many are falling through the cracks and we need to make sure we are reaching out to our civilian warriors. They may seem so much like us—going about their daily lives, working at a normal job, but you can’t take the warrior out of a veteran. It is still there, whether you can see it or not.
But guardsmen or reservist or active duty, whether serving in Army, Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force— they all suffer. In fact, another article states:

Although only 1 percent of Americans have served in the military, former service members represent 20 percent of suicides in the United States.

Holy cow. We are losing just as many {if not more} soldier here on our turf than overseas.
One of life’s questions that I will never understand is why those who’ve made the commitment to fight for others, why must they carry such heavy burdens for their remaining existence? Shouldn’t they be free from mental warfare for volunteering to go into physical warfare!? Physical warfare for you and for me. It’s just not fair. 

Many of our veterans are fighting still today— fighting to maintain mental stability, fighting to keep their marriages together, fighting to find a purpose in life, fighting to become what they used to be before the scars of war were etched in their souls.

Please read sentence over, and over, and over again. Let is sink in to the depths of your toes. May your gratitude, thankfulness, respect amplify ten-fold. The sacrifice our soldier have, and are, making is not simply to lay their life on the line if duty calls… but to sacrifice what is often considered “normal” mental health. Marriages are failing, drug and alcohol rates are sky-rocketing, and we’ve already taken a look at the suicide rates. Our soldiers have sacrifice continues for a lifetime and we civilians need not to forget it.

What are you doing to help, support, encourage the veterans near you?

We all need to be doing something. Something bigger than what we may already be doing. Something more than a simple facebook status on this holiday, more than forwarding a sentimental email. Go out and actually *do* something. Find a group that supports our veterans; create one if you can’t find one. Shake hands of vets. Teach your kids. Send care packages. Adopt a veteran. The opportunities are endless. The important thing to remember here is to continue to support, encourage, and pray for those soldiers who’ve already made it home. They still have a battle to fight.

Consider sending a card to a veteran, courtesy of Tiny Prints. Just like them on facebook follow the directions. I’ve done it—it’s super simple and it doesn’t cost a thing. They have even teamed up with an organization to determine where to send the cards!

We met up with great grandpa for our annual visit to the Hy-Vee breakfast. Derek had the day off, so he was able to join us! We love our vets—especially Daddy and Great-Grandpa!


Happy Veteran’s Day! Enjoy it! And make a wish—it’s 11.11.11, a once in a lifetime occurrence {for most of us anyway}. God Bless!

The Real American Heroes

To celebrate Veteran's Day today, we headed out to the Hy-Vee breakfast with Grandpa. We started this tradition last year and I hope that we can continue for many years to come! It's more than just having Jackson spend time with Great-Grandpa, it's about exposing him to the real heroes of our society. He's still a little young to understand, but I did my best at explaining that the men and women there today were all soldiers like Daddy! It is so important to let him know that we honor and support our veterans-- of all branches, active duty or retired, family members and even strangers!

Jackson and Great-Grandpa Duff, Retired Air Force

Jackson really surprised me this morning as I was getting him dressed. Chacey had on her shirt first and he pointed and said, "flag!" I really didn't know he knew the concept of the flag. And then he cheered, "wooohh!" I haven't quite figured out where he picked up on cheering for the flag, aside from maybe at Derek's Basic Graduation, when he had a flag and we cheered for Daddy. Either way, it was just really sweet.

Jackson and Chacey got really into waving their flags!

And of course, eating breakfast!

We can't wait to celebrate with our number one Veteran next year! We love you Derek and we are so very proud of you!! He is heading off post this evening to attend an appreciation dinner at a local church and he is VERY excited. (He was very disappointed about missing a pot-luck dinner at our church last week and so this is his consolation!)

A big thank you to all the servicemen, past and present. Derek and I both have several Veteran family members and friends, both active duty and retired, and they each were contributed inspiration in Derek's decision to enlist. And lots of prayers go out to the men and women serving in battle right now.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I took this quotation from a friend's facebook page. I just love it. For some good, easy ideas to do something for a soldier, check out this link.

But let's not just focus only on the members serving in combat. I think we tend to reach out to families and pray intently for those on Active Duty, which I undoubtedly believe is our civilian duty. However, let's not forget about the ones who've already served and are now back home. Soldier suicide is at an all-time high these days- June marks the all time high with 34 deaths. This is not okay. Have you seen last years Oscar-winning movie, The Hurt Locker?! (Not that I recommend it for a relaxing night in, but as a good image of the psychological battle our soldier endure).

Thousands of men and women come home each month and are fortunate enough still have all of their limbs, no visible scars, and most of their friends. However, each and every soldier will come home with psychological scars that may haunt them forever- some more serious than others. The divorce rate upon returning soldiers is through the roof. These people are not only fighting overseas; they have intense battles to fight upon returning home.

The military has improved the services they proved greatly in the past decade, but we need to do our part too. Granted, there's not a lot we can say or do considering they experienced something we can not even fathom to understand. However, genuine love and support, deep gratification, and reaching out to them can go a long way. Never trivialize what they do. Listen if you have a friend who wants to talk about it. But more likely, if they don't want to talk about it-- don't pry. You can let them know you are there for them without having dig. And truth be told, we probably couldn't cope with the real details anyway. Most importantly, remember these soldiers in your prayers, and pray intently. Thank the Lord for our real American heroes.

Visiting Derek, part 4: The rest of the weekend

After graduation from basic training, the soldiers then go head off to AIT (advanced individual training). Because the post that Derek was being transferred to was within a certain amount of miles, we were given the opportunity to drive him there instead of taking government transportation. This meant that instead of Derek having to check back in that night at 8pm, like he did on Family Day, he had until noon the next day to get him from Fort Benning to Fort Gordon.

Before we headed out of town, we made sure to visit the National Infantry Museum. You should really check out the website as I will fail horribly at making it sound as cool as it really is. Jackson behaved so well for a little guy. Having lots of things to touch and look at really helped! But, I'd like to go back to visit someday to spend more time.

Not only is it cool on the inside, but it really is a beautiful structure on the outside too!

Down in the kid section, they had a cool room with all parts of the ACU uniform to try on!

For kids of *all* ages, not just the little guys!

The rest of Thursday was spent driving up to Atlanta to drop Forrest off at the airport and then driving over to Augusta. It was a long day in the car! Linda and Julie were taking Jackson for the night and Derek and I were able to have a date night! It was nice to spend alone time together, though it would have been nicer if I hadn't spent a majority of the time crying because I wasn't ready to say good-bye again. We had only just saw him for the first time the day before!

Friday morning we made a quick run to Wal-Mart to get a few last minute things and drove him over to Fort Gordon to check in at lunchtime. I did finally pull myself together so the commanding officers and fellow soldiers wouldn't think Derek was married to a psychotic mess! We were told that we could wait around for orientation, so we did and I witnessed the most interesting orientation speech I have ever heard. More time was spent discussing STDs, condoms, alcohol, and sexual harassment than any other topic. But more importantly, we found out that because it was Columbus Day weekend that Derek could leave the post and wouldn't have to check back in until Monday.

OHMIGOODNESS, I WAS SO EXCITED!!!

It was a total God-thing how we had planned the rest of our trip ahead of time to perfectly work out this special blessing! Unlike other families who had booked flights for later that afternoon or the next day who couldn't spend extra time with their soldier, we had booked our flight for late Sunday night!! Our hotel was already booked in Atlanta, so we hopped back in the car and drove the two and a half hours back to Atlanta. I booked another room not even caring how much it'd cost! 

The next morning, we headed out to the Atlanta Zoo. Derek's aunt Judy drove down from North Carolina to join us.

Julie may be smiling in this picture, but she was freaking out.

Unlike Jackson, who loved petting the goats and the pigs.

Taking a break to sit down at the zoo! I love this girl.

We stopped by Chuck-E-Cheese's later that afternoon, to get out of the hotel for awhile (while Jackson was thoroughly entertained by going up and down in the lobby elevator, we really needed him to get out!). Saturday night at Chuck-E-Cheese = bad idea. We stayed for a little bit but it was waaaay too crowded.

Julie showed us some of her basketball moves

And it was Julie's first experience with Skee Ball!!!! (Derek tried adamantly to beat her score, but couldn't do it-- and so he pouted about being beat by a girl).

Per our friends demand suggestion, we were sure to stop by for a meal at The Varsity.

Derek enjoys an Orange Cream Slush, which Jackson drank some chocolate milk that I shared!  (this was after Jackson made "watches" out of tomatoes- where does he come up with this stuff?)

We checked out of our hotel around 9am to start our drive over to Augusta/Fort Gordon. The goal was to keep Jackson awake, so that he would in turn sleep on our drive back to Atlanta later that afternoon. Once we got to Augusta, we grabbed some sandwiches from Subway and enjoyed a nice picnic at a park before it was time to drop Derek off so we could make it back in time for our flight. We said our good-byes (with really minimal tears this time!). Derek went to get settled into his room and we started our long journey home. 

It was a fabulous (albeit exhausting) trip. Spending the extra two days with Derek was simply wonderful. There was time just to hang out, for him to play with Jackson, and every moment wasn't scheduled! I will be forever grateful of Christopher Columbus and the fact that we have a national holiday to celebrate him!

(I know this was soooo long, but I wanted to fit in all in one post! I'm all done with lengthy vacation posts now.)

And he's gone...

I'm a horrible wife. Instead of sobbing my eyes out right now, I am actually experiencing feelings more closely relate to relief, like this moment couldn't have come soon enough.

Anticipating this day has been emotionally exhausting for the past several months, but especially this week. We have filled our time with finishing house projects, making sure to hang out with as many people as possible, and trying to make every moment count. Yet looking back at our week, my favorite memories include staying up late (okay, midnight) laughing at the best of SNL commercial parodies, getting into intense games of tennis and baseball on the Wii, and just enjoying the little kisses and hand-holding throughout each day.

Despite being prone to cry randomly throughout the week (no thanks to Elmo's Deployment video), the final goodbye was really nothing more than just some tear-filled eyes. I really attribute it to emotional exhaustion-- I can assure you I am very sad and I miss him already, not to mention how very proud I am. I know the next eight months will fly by and we will be driving to the airport to pick him up before we even know it (positive thinking... right!?)

Fortunately, I made plans to stay up at my parents tonight so Mom can help with Jackson and I can just get a grip on myself and relax a bit. I will be back in the swing of things by Tuesday to prepare for Julie to get here on Saturday! Like I told Derek, "I just don't have much time to feel sorry for myself!", to which he replied, "it's probably better this way." Good thing he's not here to read me writing that he was right! :)

Anyway, a few pictures from today: 

Jackson was too preoccupied with his juice to look at the camera.

I love this man!!

Some last minute tickle-time

 This is the closest Derek got to getting a hug from the little twerp.

And now I can't wait to find a warm comfy bed to crawl into and stay until late morning-- or until I have to get up to pee. 

Proud to be an American

Happy 234th birthday, America!!

The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays! I love grilling burgers, spending time with family, and of course my fireworks are my favorite.

Jackson and I celebrating the holiday last summer

I once spent the 4th in another country, China. I was so bummed when I found out that I wasn't going to be in the states to celebrate.I didn't get to see fireworks that year, but it was the time I learned to really appreciate the freedoms we do have. When the kids were listened intently about stories about what it's like to have brothers and sisters, or when we had to sneak into a secret church service that was held in a old factory just to be able to worship... these were the moments that I thanked God for the freedoms we so often take for granted. 

This is a picture of the Old and New Testament Bibles that were once shared amongst an entire village. They were buried separately in between uses. The man these were passed down to was refused to have his picture taken with the Bibles in fear of what could happen to him if he were discovered.

On the international flight home, a Canadian woman had too much to drink on the international flight home and she ended up being handcuffed with zip-ties. She was making all sorts of ruckus and eventually began to criticizing everything about our country and it literally took all of my effort to not get up and hit the lady. I just could not wait to be back on American soil.

We live in a great country. A free county. There will never be a time when we all agree, but that is the greatest freedom we  behold-- the freedom to disagree and to make our voices known. United We Stand. One Nation Under God.

When Derek started talk about joining the Army, I never hesitated to support him. Who am I to accept my freedoms without the willingness to offer sacrifice. There are surely days when I am overwhelmed and sad about the months we will spend apart, but I am so proud of my husband and his willingness to serve our great country.

My handsome soldier

While you have fun and celebrate today, be sure to remember the reason we celebrate this holiday. For ideas on ways to show support to the troops, check out this post.